Judges and their Robes

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A paparazzi photographer released this photo he took from under the bench.

A paparazzi photographer released this photo he took from under the bench.

What the hell is the deal with judges and those black robes? Where else would you trust a person wearing a black judges robe? If someone was behind you on the subway and was wearing that robe you would be freaked out. You wouldn’t let someone babysit your children if they walked around in a black judges robe. If you saw someone in public wearing that black robe you would think they were in some kind of freaky medieval death cult. So how is it that we trust this person with upholding the law itself if we wouldn’t trust that person with absolutely anything else in our lives.

How can we have any confidence in a person who makes that kind of a fashion statement? Who decided that it’s a good idea for these people to show up to work wearing a black funeral gown. I think that anybody who shows up to work in any kind of robe is immediately disqualified from the job. Would you hire anybody for a position if they showed up looking like an undertaker? Hell no! You would turn them away in a heartbeat. You would tell them to get the hell out as quick as possible and would call security to make sure they left the premises; then you would be watching out for a few days on high alert to make sure they don’t come back. But when it comes to making the most critical decisions that determine the rule of law governing our entire society and way of life…sure let the undertakers from the medieval death cult who wear the freaky black funeral dress take that job…yeah, we’ll trust them with setting the moral code for all our society…seems like a perfectly rational idea.

Clearly the robes do serve a purpose, and one purpose only, it allows these assholes to secretly jerk themselves off in public while they’re watching everyone else get #ucked. Why else would you wear a robe? It’s to hide the fact that they are sitting there right in front of you jerking off. That’s the only possible function I can think of. Obviously they are naked under there. The robe has the function of hiding the giant boner these stiff pricks get from power tripping when people are getting fucked up the ass right in the courtroom. Because sado-masochistic voyeurism is the only way these sick and twisted perverts can get off, and they need a robe to hide the fact that they are jerking off right in front of you.

Who the fuck do these people think they are? Maybe some kind of black magic wizard or sith-lord.



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